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Scrum

"It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single developer in possession of a good project, must be in sear hate of Scrum".

Scrum sucks. The Zeitgeist (am I using this right??) shifted from "is it bad?" to "why is it so soo bad?". And there're no accepted viable alternatives.

Agile

Agile, whatever that may be (cue Prince Charles), is not enough.

I like the ideas in the Agile Manifesto but those are just that: ideas. I get that for managers, that need to justify development costs, that manifesto is meaningless. Wishful thinking. I get it.

So Scrum swooped in and saved the day as a way to get workers to commit to deadlines and track those. This is obviously important.

It also shorten the dev and deploy cycles from months and years of waterfall to weeks. This is all nice and dandy. Calling it a sprint however it sneakily introduces mental stress. A time pressure. And pressure can become counter-productive.

Scrum make a concession though: it allows developers to estimate themselves. Yes, themselves. Not the tasks. Because the senior can do that in 1 day but junior over there needs 5.

The killer

Managers fail to grasp how hard is to get back into a coding state of mind (flow) after meetings. It can take hours. Most of the time it ruins the day.

At least, that's what I tell myself. Cue Seinfeld "It's not a lie if you believe in it".

Anyway, you might do something but it's not as productive as before that interruption.

And Scrum is meeting heavy. This carries appeal to managers, by giving them a feeling that they are in the loop. Which they should. Because they are the ones calming the customer down when things go sideways.

Agile is all about ad-hoc interactions ("Individuals and interactions"). Scrum on the other hand, establishes processes, cadences, cerimonies, strangely named roles and resposibilities. Opaque ways to track progress.

What problem does "complexity points" solve? The only metric that matters is time. Sure, complexity can be understood to combine time with an element of uncertainty but that translates to a multiplying factor of... time. A sprint is a fixed amount of time.

Also, Scrum, which is older than Agile, jumped into the Agile bangwagon, got a restart and promises to be cool and flexible and whatnot to get the devs onboard. But it really isn't.

It's the most anti-Agile thing ever. It's processes and tools. And companies gobbled it. Because there's no viable alternative.

The wasteland

There are 5 ceremonies, 3 of them are a waste of time and only one (a weekly meeting, combining task status and planning) is truly essential.

The articles

I'm not alone. I'm collecting here articles that share my long distaste for it.

The alternatives

37signals has an interesting approach. They have 6 weeks cycles followed by a 2 week cool-off period. In the 6 weeks they ship features. In the 2 weeks they polish what was done or play with new stuff.

This appeals to me because it looks like 37 signals understands the sharp difference between thinking and designing a thing and implementing that thing. The first requires time, playfulness and zero mental pressure.

This operating model only works if you trust your employees to be driven. Which in large companies doesn't happen and that's another story.

 

Made with some <3 not a lot